It’s time for me to admit to everyone something that I almost never mention.

I am a PK, also known as a preacher’s kid.

Most people who know me don’t know this aspect of my life. In my experience there are some preconceived notions about a preacher’s kid. That they are wild and rebellious (not true for me) or they are goody-two-shoes (probably more accurate). But this story isn’t about my life as a preacher’s kid, but rather, the story of a bible camp.

I attended this camp when I was around 15 or 16. It was held at my father’s alma mater and was touted as a camp where there would be in-depth studies of the bible. It was the first year the camp was accepting girls. Up until this point the camp had been limited to boys, preparing them to be future preachers. I will admit that half of my excitement came from the memories of seeing the boys at the camp when I lived at the preaching school and the other half came from the joy of finally being allowed to do something I was previously excluded from.

I remember my excitement on that first day. I was ready to learn and prove that I could be an asset, not someone who sat in the shadows. I was prepared for the days of studying and growth in my faith.

So, imagine my dismay when I entered the girl’s class only to learn that while the boys learned about the bible, taught by some of the most respected preachers in our denomination, the girls were learning to…arrange flowers and write thank you notes.

I was deflated and honestly a bit angry. My camp experience was not at all what I had expected. I left that week practically seething in my frustration.

This experience is one that some donors have as well. It is the culmination of expectations that don’t meet the reality of their experience. Donor’s expectations are shaped by their experience with other charitable organizations. And rightly or wrongly, United Ways are held to that standard. So, if the Red Cross sends out a personal thank you to the donor, and United Way doesn’t, then the donor will be disappointed.

Sometimes, this gap between expectation and experience isn’t United Way’s fault. For example, when companies don’t provide the names of donors, it makes it impossible for United Way to deliver a personalized thank you the way other organizations can. United Ways must start building relationships with their donors outside of the workplace. Your United Way will never be able to offer the experience other charities offer if you don’t know your donors.

It can also come from lack of clarity in what to expect. Had I known upfront the girls would not be learning the same things as the boys, I wouldn’t have gone, but I also wouldn’t have been disappointed. The same goes for donors who are often confused about what it is their donation does in the grand scheme of things, which leaves them disappointed or wanting more. Your United Way must communicate exactly what your donor’s dollars will accomplish.

I never went back to that bible camp. My mother and sisters kept going and every year they would ask and beg me to join them. And every year I said no. At the end of the day, it was the principal of the matter. The camp hadn’t provided me with the experience I had expected or deserved and so, I never returned. They had lost me.

If you would like to learn more about how your United Way can attract and retain donors, join us on September 15 at 2 p.m. ET for our 60-minute webinar Essential Strategies to Attract and Retain Donors.